Ask me anything.
That's what AMA stands for. A few weeks ago Ken Jennings (that guy who won $3 million on Jeopardy) did an AMA on Reddit. He answered questions about Jeopardy, his religion (Mormon), his car (1998 Corolla), and the TV show Perfect Strangers, amongst other random things.
A day later I couldn't deny my throbbing man crush on the 74-time Jeopardy winner. I couldn't get him out of my mind. If there was a Ken Jennings equivalent of Tiger Beat, I would have bought it. I caught myself thinking, "I want to have Ken Jennings baby". No wait....what I meant was:
"I hope my kid grows up to be like that guy".
And with those words still hanging in my brain, I realized my barometer of cool had changed. I might as well start shopping for Bermuda shorts, black socks and Birkenstocks.
If I had been introduced to smart and sassy Ken 6 months ago, instead of thinking "WE MUST BUILD A FILIPINO GIRL VERSION OF KEN JENNINGS", I would have thought, "I'd like to have a beer with that guy" (and yes i realize that he doesn't drink alcohol). Everyone has their internal cool barometer. Carrie's version is what I call "best friends". For example, least year she said, "If Penelope Cruz lived in Stockton, we would totally be best friends".
When I was a kid my barometer of cool was "I wanna grow up to be like him"; from 18 to 30 it was the beer thing; and now when I meet a cool person for the first time, or I'm stalking old friends on facebook, my barometer of cool is undeniably, "I hope my kid grows up to be like that guy/gal".
I guess it just points to my eagerness to meet my daughter and figure out what the little chick is all about. The anticipation is definitely changing the way I view the world. When I hear a feel good story on the news about a teenager I think, "way to go parents!". Six months ago I would have thought, "so when does she turn 18?". Even when I gawk at women, my outlook has changed. Instead of starting at their huge books and senses of humor, I now think things like "whoa, I hope my kid has her complexion". It's like playing this huge game of "Mystery Date" but instead of appropriate outfits to pick out for a possible "Smart" date, "Jock" date, or "the Dud" date; I'm trying to pick out human traits and parenting techniques for my "Mystery" daughter.
I'm constantly trying to figure out what she'll look like and what type of person she'll be. I've combed Wikipedia's list of famous Half Filipinos for images of what she'll look like. I frequently think things like: Will she have Carrie's nose? Will she have my winning personality? Will she have Ken Jennings's wit and trivia knowledge? Carrie has even gotten in on the act. The other day she forced my to shop with her at the Asian supermarket to hunt for mixed raced babies in the hopes of finding one that looks like our future daughter.
But you know what? That's the fun part.
The hard part is trying to find out how to raise a kid. There are so many different opinions. Have you ever considered a co-sleeper? How long you gonna breast feed? Disposable diapers or cloth? Are you gonna eat the placenta? People say it will come naturally, but I'm scared as heck about messing up on the parenting thing. Cause lets face it, the father is the root cause of all women's problems. It sure as shit ain't called "Mommy Issues". I'm just afraid that one well intentioned but misinformed decision will adversely affect her for the rest of her life. "Just keep her off the pole", Chris Rock says. That joke was a whole lot funnier before my wife got knocked up.
One decision that will affect her for the rest of her life, that we need to make soon, is what to name her. With girls it's hard. Do you want something cute and spunky? Or do you want something dignified and strong. Originally I was pulling for the latter. When Carrie suggests a name, i automatically put the word "President" in front. If it sounds intuitive, it makes it to the next round. Think about it, what sounds more natural: "Please rise for President Vanilla Natividad" or "Hey guys get your dollars out cause coming next on the stage, put your hands together for Vanilla Natividad"? Needless to say, "Vanilla" is not on our list of baby names.
When Carrie suggested "Daphne" I decided to google "President Daphne".
With such a good google record, I decided to take my chance on Daphne and roll the dice. I then proceeded to google "Stripper Daphne". I closed my eyes and pressed "Search".
Google said "do you mean president Daphne"
My eyes widened.
+100 points
Congratulations the name "Daphne", you've moved on to the next round.
