These Important Messages

So Daphne and I are totally excited about being interviewed on the morning TV show Sacramento & Company on Monday October 17th. Carrie is all freaking out and trying to find the perfect outfit for Daphne. She’s also trying to calculate the perfect time to feed her so our cute little baby girl won’t be taking loud gaseous dumps on live TV. I on the other hand have more important things to worry about like what to say, how we can use this TV appearance to get Daphne early registration into Stanford, and how to create the WMID game.

Oh wait..."what’s that?" you say.

I’m sorry I can’t hear you over the sound of all the excitement surrounding the WMID game.

Oh…you’re asking what the WMID game is. How cute. Well WMID stands for "World’s Most Inappropriate Drinking Game".

I know what your next question is: “Wait Dan, you aren’t going to drink before the interview, are you?”

Of course not. And I’m offended that you’re even asking. No, the person who will be doing all the drinking is YOU.

Why “World’s Most Inappropriate”? Well let’s run down the list:

Monday: check
9AM: check
Family Friendly Morning Talk Show: check
Subject is a baby blog: double check

Since this is most likely the first and last time I’ll ever be on TV, I need to fulfill one of my life long dreams: to be the subject of a TV based drinking game. I know what you’re thinking, “Dan, I’m not cool enough to drink on a Monday morning”. Well, that’s OK poindexter, cause you can drink and watch it Monday night when they upload the segment on the internet.

Here’s what I’ve come up with so far. You guys have to help me with the final rules.

Take a sip of milk if Dan:
Says “totally”
Says “umm..”
Says "um yeah"
Says "yeah"
Laughs nervously
Says “Carrie”
Says “my wife”
Says “Daphne”
Refers to Daphne as “the kid”

Drink a full milk if:
Daphne poops
Daphne passes gas
The person next to you says “wait, that’s Dan? How’d he get so fat?”
Dan says the name of someone you know
One of Dan's corny jokes bombs
Dan mentions how great the City of Stockton is
Dan mentions the Miracle Mile

Drink a milk and a shot of soda if:
Dan mentions your company
Dan says your name
The announcers allow Dan to say “We’ll be back after these important messages”

Got any cool rules? Leave them in the comments.